Qualities I Looked For When Selecting Our Couples Therapist

Soooo I hired a therapist!…dun dun dunnn…lol seriously, 2020 was ROUGH to say the least. Corona, Corona, CORONA! Will it ever leave? Working in the healthcare field, I saw more deaths in 1 year than I could have ever imagined. I had a couple emotional breakdowns in my office. It was just so sad, literally heartbreaking.

Experiencing a pandemic while working in healthcare AND the Black Lives Matter movement brought my husband and I closer. So much closer, that we decided, we FINALLY want to take the leap and start a family. At first, Rich wanted to wait it out until the Coronavirus left planet earth, but since there seems to be no end in sight, I reminded babe of who we serve. We serve an AWESOME GOD, OKAY!. I told babe that we have to put our faith and trust in Him that he would carry us through, should we get pregnant. Because if we already were pregnant, (as some of our friends were) we can’t tell the baby not to come lol.

Since realizing that we were ready to start our family, we also knew that there were “toxic” traits from our childhoods that we did not want to pass on. Between that, needing to work on our communication and my need for more sex, I knew it was time to hire a couples therapist. And it was one of the ABSOLUTE best decisions we made to enhance our martial bond!

5 qualities I looked for in a couples therapist:

  1. The therapist is the same race as I. That was very important to me because I wanted to go into this knowing that the therapist knows the day to day struggles/obstacles of being a black person in America. I wanted a therapist we can relate to.
  2. The therapist is married, especially since this is couples therapy. I wanted a therapist who would be able to relate to and understand the highs and lows of marriage.
  3. A therapist who is knowledgeable in sexual wellness. If you read my 5 Lessons Learned in 5 years of Marriage then you would know sex is very important to me and getting it in can sometimes be a struggle with both of us having 2 jobs each.
  4. A therapist who specialized in fertility and infertility issues. As I mentioned earlier, we want to start trying very soon so should we face obstacles along the way, I would like to have a resource outside of my family and friends (because honestly the pressure from them is REAL!).
  5. A mutual connection because we are letting the therapist into the most intimate parts of our lives. Having a therapist requires one (or two in our case) to build a relationship wherein both parties are getting to know each other.

Let’s chat in the comments below! Are you in therapy? Did/do you have specific qualities you looked or are looking for in a therapist?


Looking for Something?